by Andrea Schulman,
Guest writer, BodyMindSoulSpirit.com
One of the things that can be somewhat frustrating about becoming a more positive person is that not everyone in your life is going to come over to the “light side” with you automatically. No matter how much you look for the silver lining and how much you try to focus on the good, you will still run across times where you have to deal with other people who are petty, hostile or just downright mean. Dealing with negative people in a productive way is an important part of choosing a positive path, and it often requires us to adjust our personal beliefs about negativity.
Therefore, when you encounter negative people, it’s a good idea to have a few beliefs about negativity that can soothe how you feel and help you rise above it. This way, instead of allowing another person’s negativity to kill your vibe, you can get back onto your positive track without much delay.
So, when dealing with negative people, here are a few things to remember. Think about these statements at times you feel frustrated, annoyed or hurt by the actions of another.
1. You may never fully understand why other people act the way they do.
It’s impossible to fully step into another person’s shoes and see life exactly as they see it. Other people have been brought up differently than you, they’ve had different experiences, they’re older or younger, they look different than you and they have different genetics. Because we are incapable of experiencing life as another person here in this reality, it is impossible for us to understand why other people behave the way they do. There might be a perfectly good reason for why someone is a jerk, but you might never identify it or fully appreciate it.
For this reason, it’s a waste of time to worry too much about what other people are doing and saying. Worry about your own opinions, beliefs and behaviors-they are the only ones that are truly relevant to your life and the only ones you can truly understand and choose to improve.
2. You have a choice in how you handle the situation.
Though you might have an immediate, knee-jerk reaction to another person’s rudeness or negativity, you do have a choice of how to handle the aftermath. You get to choose whether you dwell on the issue or release it and focus on other things instead.
While it’s a good idea to allow yourself to feel the way you feel without judging yourself for your knee-jerk reactions, it is an equally good idea to be aware of your choice on how to move forward from the incident. You can get sucked into the negativity and make a mountain out of a mole hill, or you can move back into peace and acceptance. You get to direct your attention where you want it to go.
That’s the wonderful thing about human interaction. Other people are incapable of affecting us from the outside. We are always free to choose how we handle upsetting circumstances.
3. Other people have choices too, and they are free to make their own decisions.
Free will is a great thing. We get to decide how we want to deal with situations, people and events. However, it also means that everyone else has the same freedom of choice we do. Though we may feel we have figured out a “better” plan, a world where positive thinking and kindness were required would be a world of mental enslavement.
Though I believe in the power of positive thinking there are times in my life where I am glad I have option to get mad for a minute, cry if I am upset or swear when I’m angry. I’d prefer to be in a more positive place, but there are times when I prefer to be a little negative and I’m glad I have the option to express myself without having to cover up how I feel.
If we want the choice to choose our own actions, we must accept that other people can choose their actions as well-even if they seem unnecessarily negative. Freedom is a wonderful thing, but we are only free to choose our own paths.
4. There’s good in every person, if we are willing to look for it.
Even the rudest, pettiest and most negative people you know have good qualities too. Avoid “black and white” thinking and resist the temptation to label someone as a completely negative person. This is helpful in negative times because looking for the good in others can actually make us feel better!
We each have negative and positive qualities. Look a little closer at the people in your life who have wronged you, and find some redeeming traits. Just as we would prefer to be remembered for our strengths, so would everyone else! Every one of us is more than our mistakes, insecurities and ignorances.
When we find positive traits we feel better about the people around us, and it is easier for us to forgive and forget. This in turn makes us feel lighter and keeps us from diving too far into negativity.
5. How people act around us is a projection of what we feel inside.
This can be a tough pill to swallow, but the behaviors we elicit from others have a lot to do with our own personal thoughts, beliefs and expectations. Though other people have choices, we tend to line up with people only when they are making choices that match how we feel inside.
For example, once we have decided someone is going to be a negative person, they will likely be quite negative around us pretty much every time we see them. This person might be kind and polite to other people, but when they are around us we will usually see their negativity.
Likewise, if we are feeling insecure about something (like the way we look or our weight) we are more likely to be the recipients of unkind comments precisely about that subject. People tend to notice the things we are embarrassed about and want to hide!
When people are negative towards us, it’s a good idea to look inside to identify what thoughts and beliefs we are projecting that are attracting this negativity to us. In this way, dealing with negative people can be a very positive experience.
If we are willing to explore why we attracted the negativity, we can identify limiting beliefs within ourselves we may have been unaware of before. Once we are aware of our limiting beliefs we have the choice to transform them.
Keep in mind that dealing with pettiness, hostility and negativity is a skill that can be learned and mastered. Do you have any other techniques for dealing with negative people? Comment below and share them with us!
Click here for more articles by Andrea Schulman
About the author:
Andrea Schulman is a former high school psychology teacher and the creator of Raise Your Vibration Today, which provides free and easy Law of Attraction techniques. She will be available for group educational seminars and webinars starting in the summer of 2015.
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