by Andrea Schulman,
Guest writer, BodyMindSoulSpirit.com
I have been asked now many times about a common phenomenon in the Law of Attraction community regarding lost relationships. It seems that many people who are learning how to raise their vibrations find that they lose friends, or incur strained relationships with people they used to be close with. In this article, I will seek to answer these questions on why having a high vibration can lead to lost relationships.
Now, let me first say that this phenomenon is a bit of a conundrum.
When you raise your vibration, you should expect that only good things happen to you, right? After all, a high vibration is supposed to attract things that feel good to you. Therefore, on the surface, it simply doesn’t make sense that you would have to deal with relationship breakups, because they don’t feel good!
But to really understand this phenomenon, we must dive a little deeper.
When we raise our vibrations, we align ourselves with a happier, more aligned state of being. In this state, we are more likely to want to promote tolerance, love and happiness. This, by the way, is why many people often see us as being flighty or even ridiculous; we are aware of the benefits of connection and unity, while much of the world we’ve grown up in is still very focused on separation and discord.
Part of the process of true ascension is raising your vibration to the point that you align with a reality where more and more people believe in connection and unity, and choose to focus on the positive.
As your vibration raises, you can tell that you are truly on the right path by looking to see who’s around you. If you are seeing more people who are being kind, loving and in a state of connection, you can be certain that you have significantly raised your vibration, and have attracted a more unified reality.
The problem that arises in our relationships is not that we are incapable of attracting these kind and loving people, but rather that it is often difficult for us to change our expectations about certain people we’ve grown close to. Often, when we raise our vibrations, we become aware of the negativity that exists within the people around us. Many times we start to see that perhaps they aren’t as positive and connected as we once believed they were.
I noticed this in my reality when I first became interested in the Law of Attraction. I had a dear friend who I had always seen as a very positive and uplifting person. Through my newer, more uplifted perspective, however, it became more obvious to me that while he was still a very kind and loving person, his perspective was indeed much more negative than I had ever been able to see before.
If you find yourself in a position like this, and suddenly a loved one appears to be more negative, it is simply because your perception has changed due to your energetic shift. At one point, your loved one’s behavior may have seemed perfectly acceptable, but now it may not resonate as well with you.
If this is the case, you may have a hard time believing that this loved one can “rise up” with you. Your perception of them from this new vantage point may make it difficult to expect them to come along with you on your journey. While they were a vibrational match to you at one point, perhaps now they are not.
So, as your vibration raises one of two things can happen. On the one hand, if you believe a loved one is incapable of joining you in your ascension, he or she will remain in the same place. Meanwhile, your ascension will cause you to detach from his or her presence, and the relationship will become lost.
The other option is that you expect your loved one to transcend his or her current state in order to join you in your ascension. If this is the case, you will believe that this person will rise up with you. Then, your relationship will stay alive as you ascend together.
This second option is a little more challenging, because it requires you to believe something you may not be capable of believing from where you stand right now. This is especially the case if you’ve been overly focused on your loved one’s negativity OR if you believe that they would be very uncomfortable in the reality you are headed towards.
Remember, the cardinal rule with the Law of Attraction is that you get what you believe. If you believe your friends and relatives are capable of making the climb with you, they will. If you can’t, then they must fade out of the picture in order for you to ascend. This is why many of us struggle to hold on to certain relationships during ascension.
So, if this is happening to you, take heart. It happens to a lot of us!
At the end of the day, what is truly important is that you raise your vibration, regardless of the outcome. Trust as you ascend good things are ahead of you, and if you have left anyone behind it is simply because the two of you presently have incompatible vibrations. Please note: this doesn’t mean that you are better than your loved one, it simply means that the version of them you have come to know and expect no longer resonates with you.
The good news is that there are a few things you can do to keep a relationship alive, and if the relationship is important to you, it’s probably a good idea to give them a try.
First (and foremost), avoid thinking about your loved one as being a negative person. Focus only on the times your loved one is happy, laughing and uplifted. This will align you more closely with a version of him or her that is happy, laughing and uplifted and the more of that version you see, the better.
We live in an infinite universe, so be aware that there are an infinite “versions” of your loved one. Some positive, some negative. To align with a more positive version of your loved one, you must expect him or her to evolve into this version.
You can also make it your intention to keep your loved one around, and use a journal and daily affirmations to focus on his or her positive traits. Give it a solid try to adjust your expectations because if your perception of your loved one improves enough, you can continue on your journey together.
But, if the process proves to be too frustrating, just relax and let go. It will be ok, I promise.
Please know that what is most important is that you ascend to a higher state of being. If reconciling the negativity in your friends and loved ones causes you frustration or irritation, down you will go. Then, you will find yourself surrounded by these same people, not because they have risen up, but because your vibrational energy has spiraled back down.
So, be easy and gentle about this. It’s ok if some people fade out of the picture, as long as you are still creeping upward. Again, when you ascend, you will find yourself surrounded more and more by people who are on your wavelength, so you needn’t fear loneliness or isolation. If you continue to climb you will attract the loving relationships you desire.
It is also entirely possible that you may align with the positive version of your friend or loved one down the road. Perhaps it is too challenging to expect him or her to join you right now, but at a later point in your ascension you will have an easier time of it. The higher we rise, the easier it becomes to expect others to do the same. So, it isn’t necessarily “good bye,” but maybe instead just a “see you later.”
I hope this article has clarified some of the questions I have received on this issue of lost relationships. If you have any more questions about this issue, please comment below!
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About the author:
Andrea Schulman is a former high school psychology teacher and the creator of Raise Your Vibration Today, which provides free and easy Law of Attraction techniques. She will be available for group educational seminars and webinars starting in the summer of 2015.